The Gift and Curse of His Last Name…The Marriage

She Said…

One of the most challenging things about getting married was the decision on should I fully take my soon to be Husband’s last name.

By the time he hopped on the marriage bandwagon, I had obtained my Bachelor’s and MBA, and was well on my way to building my career and reputation as Chase L. Strong. How do I transition all that forward momentum into Chase Richards?

Don’t get me wrong,  I wanted his last name for all the romance and love that gift meant… But lets be logical too. Changing your name is time consuming, a legal nightmare, a paperwork prison and irritating as hell.  I mean y’all men wouldn’t know because you don’t have to ever do it. But google marriage name change and see if you don’t find checklist and how to articles on how to do it. Clearly not a simple or quick process.

Here are a few day to day challenges…Lugging your marriage license around to prove that Chase Strong and Chase Richards are the same person. Sending in documentation to get bills, loans, insurance policies etc. changed. The responses on conference calls, “Oh Mrs. Strong it’s you,  I didn’t recognize the name. Congratulations on getting married.” You catching yourself reference your past work so people know who you are.

And Men, you might be a bit too sensitive about this.  What’s wrong with me hyphnating my name?  Why does it have to be an all or nothing deal? Trust me, the decision is not reflective of my love and loyalty.

As roles have changed and more women work outside of the home,  it’s more challenging to just take the gift of his last name.  I appreciate the gift, I want the gift,  but it’s just not that simple. Ladies let me ask you, did you take/would you take your husband’s last name?

He said…

Ok HSSS!!!

Let me address Chase Strong-Richards pettiness… Yes, let me repeat the word PETTY. You state that it takes to much time, really! The same time it took you to walk down the aisle, shed those tears to the crowd and say “I Do” is the same time it will take to swap out you name and bestow the respect to your husband and take his name! That half ass thought process is why marriages fail and then you looking through the glass asking why did I get married!!!!

I go back to the term “Love The One You With” and keep that unadulterated bull shit locked in your PETTY closet.

The only women that can keep their names with no questions asked are high profile entrepreneurs like Oprah or Beyonce or Janet!!!!

Get my point? Take your man’s name and stop letting society make your choices. Why are you holding on to that name? Are you really ready to become one or you still trying to hold on to your autonomy as a single woman.

Marriage is one of the most beautiful things that can happen in a couple’s life and becoming one means you are all in! Like the unity sand that is popular now, changing your last name shows the strong sentiment of how both parties are joined together in life.

Finally, it’s not that we are sensitive about it. It comes down to respect. Respect the gift of my last name and EVERYTHING that it means for me to ask you to carry it.

Be careful, because as you go into the marriage is how it will flow! Happiness forever or choppy and rough waters day in and day out! It’s all or nothing.

Mic drop that…

Wood